All You Ranmas
by Ghostaxe
Summary: Who is Ranma, really?
1. Birthday

  
  
-+- Standard Disclaimer -+-   
  
The characters depicted in this story are not mine. Ranma 1/2 and all other related characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Story is partially based on "All You Zombies" By Robert Heinlein. I have written All You Ranmas purely for entertainment.   
  
-+- End of Disclaimer -+-   
  
All You Ranmas   
  
A fiction novella by Dave Zhang (dzhang@its.caltech.edu). Comments and criticisms welcomed. Copyright 2001.  
  
  
"This text is spoken." 'This text is thought.'   
Chapter 1: Birthday   
  
September 14, 1980, Nerima Hospital   
  
A sweat-drenched Genma Saotome paced the halls of Nerima Hospital. 'Come on, how much longer is this going to take? I'm starting to get hungry,' thought Genma as he completed his seventeenth lap, "Ranma! You ungrateful boy! Causing your mother so much trouble before even being born!" Several other expectant fathers were quite startled by this rather sudden outburst, and wore facial looks that mirrored their state of mind. "Uh, heh heh, sorry," muttered a not-at-all repentant Genma as he started his eighteenth lap.   
  
At this point, a newborn baby's wail filled the hospital. A nurse stepped out into the lobby, smiled a smile that could have rivaled Kasumi's, and said, "Mr. Sao-" She did not have a chance to finish, as Genma, having perceived that his child was born, shoved the nurse in a rather brusque way, sending her in trajectory towards the nearest table, and knocking her unconscious. All the other to-be fathers stared at the new father with disgust. Well, all that is, except one. The said exception smirked, and proceeded to help the downed nurse recover consciousness.   
  
Inside the operating room, an operating obstetrician slapped the newborn on the rump as it took its first gasps of air in its life. "It's a girl!" Nodoka smiled mirthfully briefly before she fainted from exhaustion. Milliseconds later, Genma burst into the room. Seeing his child in his unconscious wife's embrace, Genma quickly grabbed the newborn, and started dancing the ludicrous dance that he did for years, and continued to do for years. The obstetrician, somewhat taken aback initially by Genma's fervor, had by then recovered his wits, and cheerfully said, "Congratulations, Mr. Saotome! You're now a father! What would you like to name your beautiful new daughter?"   
  
"Ranma! Ranma! I'm going to make you the best martial artist this world has ever seen!" said Genma, still dancing in mirth.   
  
"Done!" said the notary, after he penned in the words "Ranma Saotome" on the birth certificate, and sealed it. "Strange name for a daughter, but that's not my business."   
  
"Eh?" Genma, having suddenly heard the word "daughter," which was sufficient to knock him out of his reverie suddenly felt drops of cold sweat accumulating on his back, "Did you just call my son Ranma a girl?"   
  
"Nonsense," chuckled the notary, "the doctor told you a while ago that you had a beautiful daughter."   
  
Genma, who had been so vibrantly ecstatic over the past five minutes, suddenly looked like a man who found out his family heirloom diamond was a cubic zirconium. "What? My son is a girl? Oh well, I guess No-Chan and I have to try again." 'Not that I am loath to fulfill my manly duties.' "Oh, in that case, Mr. Notary, could you please change the name of my daughter to 'Ranko'?"   
  
The notary, not having seen what Genma did to the poor nurse who informed Genma of his daughter's arrival, stated forwardly, "Ah, I'm sorry sir, but I've already covered it with the official seal, thereby making it official. If you would like to change your daughter's name, you'll have to do that at a courthouse."   
  
"Oh..." said Genma as he hurriedly put Ranma/Ranko back down in his wife's arms, and starting running off in a random direction.   
  
"HEY MR. SAOTOME! COME BACK HERE! I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!" shouted the notary and obstetrician in unison.   
  
Genma ran back as quickly as he ran out. "What?"   
  
"Concerning the name change you should know that..." "Concerning your wife you should know that" started the notary and doctor, again in unison, but this time no coherent words could be made out, as they were saying different things. Genma pointed to the notary and said, "You first."   
  
"Well, Mr. Saotome, I was just going to tell you that there is no hurry in rushing to the courthouse for the name change."   
  
"And why not? I want my daughter to have a FEMALE name as soon as possible."   
  
"Well, you see, sir, the laws of Japan are that no one can apply for a name change until they come of age, on their eighteenth birthday."   
  
POW! The notary's slight body slammed against the closest wall, denting a substantial area of the concrete wall.   
  
"Ok, your turn doctor," said a now-irate Genma.   
  
The obstetrician, having seen what Genma did to the notary, was now noticeably quite nervous, and chalked out the words, "Well, um, ah, Mr. Saotome, I think you should sit down for this..." "I AM SITTING!" roared Genma when he obviously was not. "Well, you see," continued the doctor, whose face was quite ashen now, "While running some standard blood tests, we, uh, determined that due to your homozygotic Rh+ nature and your spouse's homozygotic Rh- nature, it would not be in your best interests to have any more children."   
  
Genma's rage, which had cooled down a bit after venting on the poor notary, was now rapidly rising again to the point of aggression. The only thing that prevented him from knocking unconscious the doctor right now was the fact that he did not understand 80% of the last sentence the doctor spoke. "Huh? Is there something wrong with Ranma? In Japanese please this time?" said a not-so-friendly Genma.   
  
"Fortunately, the firstborn is never affected by erythroblastosis fetalis... er... a deadly blood syndrome. However, there are now antibodies in your wife's blood system that would kill any further children you may wish to have before it's born... Uh, in other words, if your wife tries to have any more children, they're doomed to be stillbirths or miscarriages..."   
  
POW! Another unconscious body laid on the ground juxtapose to the notary's, and another dent in the wall appeared next to the first one made by the body of the notary.   
  
The gravity of the situation hit Genma, and he began to sob a sob that would have rivaled his friend Soun Tendo's. The nurse who announced Ranma's birth peeked in, hearing the unusual noises of bodies slamming against walls, and now continuous sobs of a man, and quickly back out of the room again, fearing for her own health.   
  
***   
  
Three hours later, Genma, after calming down by eating a mid-morning dinner, walked into the neonatal care facilities of the hospital to check on his only child. Thousands of thoughts and emotions had flooded his mind over the past three hours, as he saw his dreams of raising the world's best martial artist vanish into the thin air, for obviously, no GIRL could become best at something like martial arts. Finding the door leading into the room where his daughter was held unlocked, he walked in to see his daughter.   
  
'Strange. No nurses are here. Hm... they must be on lunch break or something,' thought Genma, failing to notice that most nurses don't take lunch breaks at 10:45 in the morning. He walked up to the crib with his daughter. Lifting the sheets, he verified to himself once more than his child was indeed a daughter. ' Ungrateful boy! Why must you be born as a girl?' He glanced at the other newborns positioned in cribs next to Ranma's, envious of those who fathers were lucky enough to father boys.   
  
Suddenly an idea struck Genma... 'No! I mustn't!' thought Genma as he slapped himself for thinking what he just thought. Yet, inevitably, the thought arose again. 'Well, no one's looking right now... No! I can't! I mustn't! For the honor of the name of Saotomes, I mustn't!'   
  
This ethical debate in Genma raged a long time... fifteen minutes, and not surprisingly, the less ethical side won. After glancing around himself one final time to make sure no one was looking, Genma squeezed baby Ranma's left hand hard, nearly crushing the nascent bones. As baby Ranma wailed out in pain, Genma quietly begged, 'Please, daughter, be quiet. I'm so sorry to abandon you like this... but the Satome School of Anything Goes MUST have an heir!' With a final sigh of determination, he slipped the identification tab off his daughter's wrist. Placing his daughter back in the crib, he glanced around for a suitable newborn born... 'Yurika Suzuki... no, that's a girl... Megumi Yuuki... no, also a girl... Ah! Here we go... Akito Yamato'   
  
Glancing around once more to make sure no nurses finished their "lunch break" early, Genma removed Akito's identification tag in a similar way, and slipped on "Ranma Saotome" tag on Akito's wrist. He then took Akito out of his crib, and put Akito into Ranma's crib. Then he grabbed Ranma and placed the "Akito Yamato" tag on Ranma's wrist, and finally put Ranma in Akito's crib.   
  
"Ranma, my daughter, you must forgive your father. Your father wants... no, needs a son to carry on the tradition of Anything-Goes. Hope you have a happy life as Akito Yamato," whispered Genma as he looked to the real Ranma one final time. Then, as if his duty as father to Ranma was done, he vowed never to see the real Ranma again, and that from that moment on, the child formerly known as Akito Yamato, is now Ranma Saotome, who Genma will raise as his own, and train into a world-class martial artist to carry on the name of Anything-Goes.   
  
His job done, Genma quietly exited the room, and closed the door. Taking another look at his new-found son from afar, Genma thought, 'Boy, you better be grateful!'   
  
***   
  
After Genma left the vicinity, another man approached that very room. In his arms he carried a newborn baby, yet he was not wearing a hospital uniform. Upon closer inspection, one would realize that this is the same man who helped the unconscious nurse in the waiting room several hours earlier.   
  
"Hmph... How predictable... This is too easy." The brown-haired man walked into the room, over to the crib labeled "Akito Yamato," and then deftly removed the "Akito Yamato" identification tag off "Akito," and then placed it on the bare wrist of the newborn he was carrying. He then placed the newborn he was carrying into the "Akito" crib, and then took Ranma into his arms.   
  
"Sh... be quiet little girl... you have a great future ahead of you."   
  
He took baby Ranma with him, exited the room, and walked into a janitorial closet next to the baby room. In there laid five unconscious nurses, who no doubt were supposed to be watching over the neonatal room next door. Then the man dragged the nurses into the room where he and Genma switched babies, and locked the door as he exited. He then disappeared into the night.   
  
  
  
April 27, 1998, Nerima   
  
'Another year older,' thought a bloodied and bruised Nabiki as she sighed, 'Wonder if anyone but Kasumi will remember that today's my birthday. Akane, Daddy, and those two freeloaders certainly didn't last year. What a way to celebrate my birthday -- getting mugged and beat up by kids from school.' She was wearing her cold mask of neutrality on her battered face as always, but deep down inside, Nabiki despaired. This was one of the two days of the year when she would actually regret being the "Ice Queen of Furikan High," the other being Christmas. Perhaps a casual observer may think that Nabiki mourns the lack of present that she would receive during these two days if she actually had friends. In reality, Nabiki is not at all the cold mercenary that she is reputed to be... well, ok, she is, but she doesn't want to be. Since the death of her mother, her father had become so emotional that he could not retain any students--scaring them off by crying loudly on their shoulder at one moment, and displaying his "Demon-head" in another. This meant that although the dojo constantly required an influx of yen for maintenence (especially since the Saotomes moved in), and her family for food and clothes, none of the rest of her family brought in money. Thus, as her family's sole source of income, Nabiki had been relegated the role of the cold mercenary.   
  
It was painful, having everyone as your enemy and no one as your friend. Even her family, who she sustains the role of mercenary for, despises her ways. Some days the pain wasn't only emotional; today was one of those days. It was surprising actually, that they waited this long. 'Ranma must be a lot more intimidating to the kids at school than I thought. I wouldn't have expected them to wait almost a year after Ranma came before attacking me again. It's probably because of my recent surge in blackmailing.'   
  
Nabiki sighed again. It wasn't her fault! Life just wasn't fair. A wedding costs a lot, even if it fails-- no, scratch that, ESPECIALLY if it fails. Memories of Ryoga and Mousse and Shampoo and the rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew at work and the resulting bills espoused a shudder in Nabiki. That was a week ago, and of course, none of the uninvited guests bothered to offer to pay for damages. Betting pools were drawing in very little money after news spread that Ranma could beat demi-gods. Ranma was still sufficiently upset with Shampoo and Ukyo to allow Nabiki to set up dates for income. This left her last avenue of income--blackmail-- to cover more than triple what it normally was supposed to. Well, more income means more blackmailing and higher blackmailing prices, so it wasn't too unexpected that an attack was coming up. Fortunately, Nabiki possessed enough foresight to carry large amounts of money home from school only when she was sure Ranma would be more or less walking Akane and her home.   
  
Today, unfortunately, Nabiki elected to conduct a bit of business concerning tomorrow's History test, thus was delayed long enough to be out of Ranma's earshot. Four of her "best customers" in blackmail showed up, and exacted a little revenge. Nabiki knew the procedure to handle these situations, but that didn't make it any less painful. After quietly taking beating for about 15 minutes, Nabiki pretended to faint, which earned her kicks from the boys for about five more minutes, and then the boys took her wallet and ran. After waiting another ten minutes to make sure they weren't coming back, Nabiki stood up, patted some dust off, and limped back home.   
  
***   
  
"PERVERT!"   
  
"Ah! You violent uncute tomboy!" Shouted Ranma as he started his parabolic trajectory towards the Tendo koi pond. A couple minutes later, Ranma-chan emerged out of the pond, grumbling something about stupid tomboys. She walked past Soun and Genma playing a game of shogi. Genma, at the time, was pointing in a random direction and shouting "Dinosaur!" Ranma-chan took a quick bath in the furo, and then back to male form once more, walked down into the kitchen to see what was cooking for dinner.   
  
"Hi Kasumi! What's that I smell? Cake?"   
  
"Hi Ranma. Yeah, I'm baking a cake. It's Nabiki's birthday."   
  
"WHAT!? It is!?" With that, Ranma ran at near light speed out the kitchen and the front door.   
  
"Oh my."   
  
Ranma was upset with himself. Not because of his latest bantering with his uncute fiance, but with the fact that he forgot Nabiki's birthday. Again. Well, almost. There's still a little bit of time before dinner, but not much. Leaping from rooftop to rooftop, Ranma thought about what he should buy Nabiki as a present.   
  
As he browsed the neighborhood shops, Ranma saw the battered form of a Furikan schoolgirl limping slowly in the opposite direction. Ranma couldn't tell who it was, as he didn't have the opportunity to talk to many girls at Furikan in the first place because of his fiances, and also because the girl was staring at the ground as she limped. Briefly weighing the consequences of having a hurt young girl on the streets of a darkening night, versus arriving home half an hour late and having Genma stolen all his food and cake, Ranma quickly reached the more noble conclusion, and leapt down onto the ground beside the girl.   
  
"Hi, you go to Furikan, right? Are you hurt?"   
  
The girl looked up, and to Ranma's great surprise it was Nabiki.   
  
"Nabiki?" cried an incredulous Ranma, "What happened to you? Here, don't talk, I'll take you to Dr. Tofu's."   
  
That said, before Nabiki could protest, Ranma swung his left arm under Nabiki's legs, and caught her falling body with his right. Having secured his passenger, Ranma leapt once again onto the rooftops, and leapt quickly in the familiar direction of Dr. Tofu's office.   
  
***   
  
"Look, Ranma, I'm fine. Let's just go home"   
  
"No you're not. You right leg looks like it hurts a lot, maybe even broken. Otherwise you wouldn't have been limping like that. And it's better to err on the safe side."   
  
The door opened to reveal a cheerful looking Dr. Tofu. "Oh hi Ranma, did you get into another fight with your fiances? Or was it Ryoga this time?"   
  
"Nah, Shampoo and Ucchan have been pretty busy with their restaurant businesses lately, and I've gotten used to Akane's beatings. Ryoga's still lost, from past experience he won't be back for probably another two weeks. No, it's not me who need treatment today; it's Nabiki." Ranma walked in and placed Nabiki on the examination table. "Hey, Nabiki, Dr. Tofu, I gotta go somewhere real quick, I'll be back real soon OK?"   
  
Ranma ran off then without bothering to listen for a response.   
  
"Well, now, I must say it's been quite a while since you last visited. But it looks like they hit you hard enough this time to make up for lost time. Hm... this leg looks like it might be broken. Does this--"   
  
"AHHHH!!!!!" screamed Nabiki in pain. Of course, this was nothing compared to an hour ago when they were savagely beating her, but then again, she didn't need to keep quiet this time.   
  
"Hm... I'll have to run an X-ray to be sure." Dr. Tofu said as he carries her to the X-ray room. "So, clubs I'm guessing?"   
  
"No, they weren't armed."   
  
"Well, I must say that I'm impressed there are people other than Ranma and his fiancees here who can break your leg unarmed."   
  
"Er... One of them was wearing a steel-toed boot."   
  
"Ah, that explains it." Dr. Tofu quickly took an x-ray, and ran off to develop it. A while later, he returned, frowning, "Hm... looks like it's indeed broken. I'll have to put you in a cast."   
  
***   
  
An hour later, Ranma returned to the clinic. "Hi Nabiki, Dr. Tofu. I'm back." Upon seeing Nabiki's right leg in a cast, Ranma winced. 'This doesn't seem like a fun birthday. Oh well, I least I remembered to get her a present this time.' And then Ranma remembered how Kasumi had reminded him. 'Nabiki didn't forget to get me a gift on my birthday.' He winced again.   
  
"Ranma, good to see you again. Nabiki's leg was in fact broken, so you'll have to carry her home tonight. She won't be able to walk by herself for a bit, so you be sure and help out."   
  
"Hai!" Ranma proceeded to pick Nabiki up and ran back to the Tendo dojo.   
  
***   
  
Upon arriving back at the dojo, Ranma had barely put Nabiki down before...   
  
"JERK!" and Ranma cannonballed into the koi pond.   
  
"How could you let Nabiki get hurt like this? This is ALL YOUR FAULT!" fumed Akane.   
  
Ranma-chan swam out of the koi pond, looking more upset than usual and was about to shout back when Kasumi stepped into the room with a cake and said, "Happy Birthday Nabiki!"   
  
Ranma-chan, suddenly remembering something, screamed, "Oh no!" and grabbed something hidden in her clothes. A book. Everyone stared at Ranma-chan, wondering why he was suddenly make a big deal out of a soaked book.   
  
"Akane! You violent tomboy! This was a present for Nabiki!" Ranma looked penitently at Nabiki, holding out the book in one hand while scratching the back of his head with the other, "Eh... Sorry Nabiki. I wanted to give this to you after we had cake, but now it's ruined... Ah! No matter, I'll get you a new copy tomorrow" Ranma reached his book-wielding arm back and was about to throw it in the trash when Nabiki reached out her hand to take the book.   
  
"Romance of the Three Kingdoms. I've wanted this for a while now. Thank you Ranma." Nabiki held the book to her chest as if it were a valuable treasure and stared at the ground, as a tinge of redness seeped into her cheeks, for the first time in her eighteen years of life.   
  
'Nabiki blushing!? Whoa! She must really like it,' Ranma-chan thought. She didn't have an opportunity to finish the thought when...   
  
"IDIOT!" and Ranma-chan cannonballed into the koi pond for the third time that day.   
  
"Why didn't you tell me you had a present for Nabiki and shouldn't have gotten wet!? This is ALL YOUR FAULT!" Akane fumed. Akane wasn't really upset because Ranma got his present to Nabiki soaked of course. It was mostly because Ranma had actually bothered to get Nabiki a present, something Akane had forgotten to do for many years consecutive now, this one included. The fact that Nabiki, of all people, always gave presents on birthdays and Christmas didn't help her conscience. Added to that was the fact that Nabiki apparently really liked Ranma's present. Akane's shame and jealousy manifested itself in their usual way--violence.   
  
After Ranma-chan took a hot bath to revert to male form, he came down the stairs to join the families in eating cake. That passed pretty much as one would expect. Soun Tendo crying his eyes out in shame of forgetting to get his daughter a present yet again, Genma stealing a piece of Ranma's cake, and then Ranma retaliating by stealing a bigger chunk from Genma's plate. Kasumi smiled cheerfully as always.   
  
Nabiki, however, was smiling. She wasn't smirking her normal condescendingly neutral smirk; she was smiling. Every so often, she would steal another glance to the still-dripping book she held in her left-hand with satisfaction. She also stole looks at Ranma, which of course when unnoticed by Ranma, who was busy defending his food. It was noticed, however, by Akane. Akane silently fumed.   
  
***   
  
Ranma knocked on Nabiki's window. He never really knew why he never used the door to talk to Akane or Nabiki; it just seemed windows was the right way the natural entrance. (By a similar logic, Akane had concluded the roof was Ranma's natural egress.) In any case, Ranma had entered Nabiki's room a myriad of times before this way (mostly "on business"), so why was he nervous this time? Nabiki, dressed in a green translucent nightgown, opened the window and smiled, "Come in."   
  
Ranma was again shocked by Nabiki... Nabiki *smiled*!? 'First she blushes, now she smiles!? Is Nabiki finally coming out of her shell? Hm, I guess one does mature when they turn 18' thought Ranma, having not caught Nabiki's smile during cake-time. Snapping out of his reverie, Ranma leaped in to her room.   
  
"Uh, hi Nabiki," stuttered Ranma, trying very hard to stare at the ground, "Um... I just wanted to drop by and say Happy Birthday."   
  
"Ranma-kun," said Nabiki sweetly, almost seductively as she sat down on her bed, "Thank you for the gift. Thank you for helping me out earlier too. Here, sit down, let's chat for a bit."   
  
Ranma tensed, and was debating jumping out the window, but then thought, 'Well, it's her birthday today. I guess I'll let her make some money off me. I do owe her at least that since the book got drenched.' Ranma sat down.   
  
"So, who beat you up? I'd think Shampoo or Ucchan, but they both don't seem the type to harm you that badly. And besides, who'd sell them dates with me if you bear a grudge against one of them?"   
  
Nabiki tensed for a bit at hearing this, momentarily losing her newly-development smile, but then remembered her well-earned reputation as "Ice Queen" and her frequent previous dealings in selling off Ranma to Shampoo and Ukyo. Smiling sadly now, Nabiki said, "No, it wasn't either of them. Just a bunch of riff-raff from Furikan. Victims of my blackmail."   
  
"Tell me who they are! I'll go teach them a lesson tomorrow."   
  
"Don't worry, silly Ranma-kun," said Nabiki in a playful tone. Then in a more serious one, "This isn't the first time you know; although it is since you got here. I guess your reputation as a good fighter and my cohabitant kept them at bay until this week when I raised prices. I got sent to Dr. Tofu's about once every month before you got here."   
  
"Uh, why didn't you continue training in martial arts then? That way you can fight back and not let people trample all over you."   
  
Nabiki gently shook her head, "No. You don't have the bully mentality. Bullies... they're scum of the earth... they don't appreciate a good fight like you martial artists do... they just want to hurt the object of their aggression, and the more the target fights back, the more they will hurt her after they eventually win. You yourself said that guys pulls their punches against girls. But they don't do that to targets. Akane herself probably couldn't win against the four boys who attacked me today were they to go full-force. So, since I don't have a 10-year training like you do, it's better for me to just quietly take the punches."   
  
"Whoa. So much information and you didn't charge me for it?"   
  
A wave of disappointment visibly passed over Nabiki, and Ranma kicked himself mentally for being asinine again. Nabiki smirked, "Well, it's my birthday; I'm in a charitable mood. And besides," she said as she leaned in close to Ranma, "I indebted to you for getting me that nice present."   
  
"Well, heh, it's nothing you know," said Ranma scratching the back of his head, "I still say just throw that one away, and I'll get you another copy tomorrow. Ya know, I actually should get you two more to make up for last year's birthday and last Christmas. You gave me gifts but I kinda forgot."   
  
"No, I won't throw this away. Do you know why not? Because this is the first gift I've gotten. Ever. Don't look so surprised, it's just natural. I mean, who would ever give gifts to a mercenary bitch like me? I've conned everyone I know out of enough money to buy 20 gifts each birthday. Of course they're not going to give me any gifts. Even Akane's like that. I mean, she feels bad tonight about not getting me a gift, even though she's never given me a gift in her entire life, and she might feel bad tomorrow, but then it'll pass. She'll easily excuse herself, rationalizing that I can buy myself something nice with the money I've taken from her. People are just like that."   
// Afterthoughts on this chapter:   
  
Well, does anyone know what the name changing law is for Japan? In the U.S. it's "require attourney and court approval before 18, walk in and change if after 18."   
  
Does young Genma seem a little out of character? I can't remember his reaction for dealing with foisted bad situations... usually he's the one causing them.   
  
Uh, I don't think they ever said anything about Nabiki's birthdays in the TV series. Correct me if I'm wrong.   
  
Uh, they DO celebrate birthdays, right?   
  
Oh, BTW, I'm a bio major; I'm not making up any of the bio terms--erythroblastosis fetalis is an actual syndrome frequently encountered in childbirth. There is a cure for it, but I'm conviently ignoring that for this story.   
  



	2. Paternity

  
  
-+- Standard Disclaimer -+-   
  
The characters depicted in this story are not mine. Ranma 1/2 and all other related characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Story is partially based on "All You Zombies" By Robert Heinlein. I have written All You Ranmas purely for entertainment.   
  
-+- End of Disclaimer -+-   
  
All You Ranmas   
  
A fiction novella by Dave Zhang (dzhang@its.caltech.edu). Comments and criticisms welcomed. Copyright 2001.   
  
"This text is spoken." 'This text is thought.'   
  
  
  
Chapter 2: Paternity   
  
April 27, 1998, Nerima   
  
"That's horrible!" Ranma then suddenly felt very uneasy. Well, he HAD forgotten Nabiki's birthday again today, and were it not for Kasumi he probably wouldn't have known at all. "Well, ah, I guess I'm to blame too..." Debating a while whether to come clean, Ranma concluded to tell Nabiki the truth. "You see, I actually kinda forgot today as well... I only went out to get you a gift because I smelled cake, and Kasumi told me." For the first time since entering Nabiki's room this night, Ranma looked up at Nabiki to see how she was handling his confession.   
  
He quickly looked down to the floor again, sporting a slight nosebleed, having been quite abruptly reminded of why he didn't look at her in the first place. In that brief moment when he looked up though, Ranma saw on Nabiki's visage a confluence of many emotions, the two most predominant being sadness and understanding.   
  
"Ranma, it's okay. I'm still very happy and grateful. No one else would have gotten me a present even if they had known. Thank you... I'll treasure this always."   
  
Ranma, uncomfortable with having a teenage girl confide in him, and Nabiki no less, decided to change the topic in his usual way--by saying something hurtful and completely insensitive. "So, why don't you get yourself something nice? I mean, with all the business you run in school you must have quite a sizable bank account. I know you generally don't like to spend money, not even on yourself, but a birthday's a pretty special day, so why don't you make an exception and get like a nice dress or something?"   
  
Ranma looked up again at Nabiki to see her fuming in rage, a look he has known all too well thanks to Akane. He immediately closed his eyes in wait for Akane's interdimensional mallet, but neither that nor Nabiki's fists came. After waiting a couple of minutes, making sure no attack was impending, Ranma opened his eyes again.   
  
Nabiki was rolled up into a ball lying on her bed and... CRYING!? Fear immediately sank into the deep recesses of Ranma's unconscious as empathetic big brother mode took over. Ranma scooted closer to Nabiki on the bed and put his hand on Nabiki's shoulder, "Eh, sorry about that. I'm really bad with words. Uh, I don't mean whatever I just said that upset you. You're probably saving that money towards college tuition or something..."   
  
Far from placating Nabiki as Ranma had hoped to do, Ranma's words made Nabiki sob only louder, to the point where her tear output almost matched her father's, except her tears were much more genuine. In between sobs, Nabiki spoke in a tone that conveyed extreme sadness and disappointment, " You think that I've been miserly and building a fat bank account? I have barely ten thousand yen left in my account. If it wasn't for me cranking up blackmail prices at school recently and begging to the construction companies on the phone , this stupid dojo would have already been repossessed! "   
  
Ranma was stunned, to say the least, "You mean you pay for the costs of living here?"   
  
Nabiki, regaining some control of her emotions, tried to halt any reinforcement tears, in an attempt to put back on the persona of the cool, collected mercenary. But she failed, because she then suddenly remember what Ranma said earlier, and her squadrons of tears were suddenly reinforced by several more battalions. Tears gushed. "College. After that wedding fiasco there's no way I can go to Todai or any other college for that matter. I wanted to go to Todai since I was four! It's impossible to get that much money now no matter how much blackmail profit I earn from now until the end of the school year. The only reason that I'm working so hard is so that Akane can go to college next year when she graduates. First Kasumi, then me . Both forfeited college for financial reasons. I want one of us three sisters to have a college education at least!"   
  
With that last sentence, Nabiki was suddenly reminded how Akane had never EVER given Nabiki a single present, despite the fact that Nabiki never failed to give her one every Christmas and birthday, and the fact that Nabiki considered Akane her closest friend. Struck by the injustice of working so hard for the happiness of one whom she cared deeply about, yet Akane seemed completely apathetic to Nabiki's feelings, Nabiki continued her wail. After a while, her sobbing finally ceased. Whether it was due to exhaustion of her under-used tear glands, or to a conscious recomposition of her normal self is unknown.   
  
Ranma was quite taken aback when he noticed this torrent of emotions that is so out of character from the normally tranquil Nabiki Tendo. This didn't prevent his audal system from functioning properly, though, and Ranma caught every single word that escaped Nabiki's mouth. Ranma was bewildered. "But, what about your father? Isn't it his duty to earn the bread?"   
  
Nabiki tried to smirk her usual smirk, but failed terribly, and the resulting facial expression looked more like a pained, forced smile. "You think playing shogi with your dad brings home yen? Ranma, honestly, I expected you to be more observant than that. Have you seen any paying martial arts students around here for the past year? Ever since Mother's death, Daddy just couldn't bring himself to teach any more students."   
  
Nabiki stopped speaking. 'Why am I telling him all this? I never talked to anyone else like this. Get a grip Nabiki! You're NOT going to turn into a whining school girl just because you got beat up today! You're NOT going to take Ranma in as a confidant just because he's the only person to ever give you a gift!' Nabiki sighed inwardly at the last thought.   
  
Ranma, noting her resignation, suddenly feared for the worst, and started stuttering, "Uh, Nabiki, um, you know, you really shouldn't think about, uh, doing any silly things. I mean, sure, a lot of people at school are jerks to you, and I am too at times, but, uh, life is worth living! There are people who care about you!"   
  
Nabiki blinked. Then she realized what Ranma was saying, and inwardly broke out in laughter. 'That's the gauche Ranma that I know. Heh, I'll tease him a little.' Thus, she kept her depressed exterior, and demurely said, "What do you mean? No one cares about a cold-hearted woman like me. There is no place I'd be welcomed on this earth!" Nabiki then proceeded to try to fake sobbing. However, since she already cried her eyes dry a few minutes ago, no tears came out, so she looked down and continued feigning crying.   
  
Ranma was too lost in thought to notice though. 'Nabiki is lonely!? Of course, a mentally-challenged monkey could figure that out. I'm so stupid! Akane was right when she called me an insensitive jerk! Ah! I'm so stupid! To think that I thought Nabiki was the most selfish of us all! In truth she was the most selfless one; she bore the insults and hatred of everyone at school so that she could bring home money to bring dinner to the table. No--more than that... she willingly bore physical abuse too!'   
  
Ranma thought some more his observations of Nabiki's actions over the past year. 'She never spent a single yen on herself!' He glanced briefly into Nabiki's open closet and ascertained his fears... not a single one of Nabiki's sets of clothes seemed anywhere near new. The colors of all the dressed were faded, and several of the dresses were obviously a couple sizes too big... which meant only one thing... they were all hand-me-downs from Kasumi.   
  
Ranma stared down at the floor in shame of so grossly misunderstanding the character of Nabiki. After doing so for a fairly long time, he looked up, with new determination in his blue eyes. 'Nabiki, I had misunderstood you in the past. The rest of the world misunderstands you still now. But from this day forth there will be at least one person who stands by you always! At one person will be your... friend.'   
  
Ranma put an arm around Nabiki and said, "Nabiki, I didn't know before, but I do now. I'm your friend now, if you'll let me be. In either case, no one will ever insult or hit you again, if I have anything to say about it!" Nabiki, surprised at the physical proximity to Ranma, and what Ranma just said, felt a warm, tingling sensation in her cheeks for the second time in her life.   
  
"Stop it!" said Nabiki, not at all sounding sincere, "You wouldn't want Akane to hear or see this, would you?"   
  
"I don't care what that stupid tomboy thinks! For all your sacrifices, you deserve at least one person to call your friend. And besides," Ranma continued sheepishly while turning to face Nabiki, "I've been a major source of your cash outflows, haven't I? With me and Pop freeloading, and my fiancees running around and destroying the dojo every other day." Debating something in his mind briefly, Ranma bit his teeth and took out his wallet. After fumbling for a bit, he found his ATM card. Handing it to Nabiki, he said, "Here Nabiki. The PIN is 0783. I have about 200,000 yen saved on it. They're mainly savings from working as a waitress at Cat Cafe and other odd jobs that I worked. I know this definitely isn't enough to cover the wedding costs, nor is it nearly enough for tuition at Tokyo University, but it'll help cover the recent money crunch. I guess I'll go ask Mom for some money."   
  
Nabiki was shocked. So shocked in fact, that she forgot she was feigning crying. "What!?" she stammered. 'To think that Ranma would actually just offer me his entire bank account! Before he would drag his knees in giving up 100 yen! And to think, Ranma was actually mature enough to save up a sizable account.' Nabiki felt her respect for Ranma rise several orders of magnitude.   
  
Nabiki stared at the proffered ATM card. '200,000 yen. That could make life a lot easier. And if I manage to earn a little more than what I usually do over the summer, I might actually be able to save up enough for Todai.' Nabiki shook her head. "No. I appreciate your offer, but I can't accept this money." Nabiki smiled as Ranma did a double-take, and continued, "But I will be taking you up on your offer to be my friend though."   
  
"Well, ah, that's great. I mean, the friend part. Still though, you said the dojo's run into money problems. Here... take out some money. Call it a loan from a friend," replied Ranma. "No interest!"   
  
***   
  
Ranma finally left after noticing that they've been chatting for nearly three hours, though somewhat regretful the moment had to end. Nabiki, thinking about the past three hours, was happy--no ecstatic. This is been the best birthday ever for her... she had made a friend. Well, for the rest of us making a friend isn't that big a deal, but for Nabiki, increasing from 0 to 1 is an infinite percentage increase.   
  
Nabiki pulled out the book Ranma had gotten her. "Romance of the Three Kingdoms." Still slightly wet to the touch. She smiled as she put the book on the desk by her bed, and shifted her body to prepare for sleep, while feeling a bit of lingering pain from her leg in the cast. She flipped off the lights. Nabiki found out that she couldn't fall asleep, too excited by the days events.   
  
Nabiki mentally chided herself for being 'giddy as a schoolgirl.' 'Snap out of it Nabiki! It was just a present from a friend! Ranma's just a friend!'   
  
Nabiki sighed. 'Yeah, just a friend. Ranma hadn't forgotten Akane's birthday last November.' Ranma had gotten Akane a nice pair of earrings, for which he was prompt punted into the koi pond, for saying, "Maybe you can be less of a uncute tomboy now."   
  
'Still though, my eighteenth birthday, and the only gift I get is a book.' Nabiki felt hollow. Just like the French peasants right before the French Revolution, it wasn't in times of absolute poverty and despondency when one felt deprivation and emptiness; rather, it is when times are improving when one feels the relative deprivation that she has been suffering all along, but never complained about, for she knew no other way to live than the way she had.   
  
Just as the French peasants' did, Nabiki's heart-felt deprivation soon manifested itself in anger and jealousy.   
  
'Hmph! All I get for my eighteenth birthday is a stupid book! Come six and a half months from now, when Akane celebrates her eighteenth birthday, she'll be showered with gifts! Her friends from school will get her nice gifts--she actually has FRIENDS at school! Ukyo and Shampoo will probably get her something too. Ryoga will miraculously find his way here and give Akane a gift too. And Ranma...'   
  
Nabiki sniffled at the last thought, 'Ranma will get her something really nice... maybe even propose to her since they'll both be eighteen by then.'   
  
Silently comparing Akane's life with her own, Nabiki felt pangs of jealousy. 'Akane didn't have to worry about anything! She's so spoiled! While Kasumi and I have to worry daily about sustaining the family, Akane can just go off and have fun with her friends. Life is so unfair! Come November 12 when it's Akane's birthday, she'll have the greatest time in her life!'   
  
Nabiki silently reminded herself that today was actually the happiest day in her own life. Nabiki sighed again. 'Born six and a half months apart to the same family... who knew our fates would be so different?'   
  
"SIX AND A HALF MONTHS!?" Nabiki quietly screamed with sudden realization. 'Six and a half months!? Wait...'   
  
Nabiki flipped her light back on, and hobbled over to her bookbag. Extracting a science textbook, she turned to the index. After searching a bit, she found the page number of what she was looking for, and turned to the directed page.   
  
"Pregnancy," Nabiki quietly read, "is a period of development of the fetus inside its mother. Occurs in viviparous animals such as mammals. In humans (homo sapiens), pregnancy last nine months."   
  
Having confirmed what she had remembered reading, suddenly everything became clear to Nabiki. 'That's why Akane's the only one of us sister who has a violent temperament. That's why Akane is the one Daddy didn't have pitch in for the family. That's why Akane was to bear the burden of marrying Ranma when we first thought he was a freak.'   
  
At that thought, Nabiki noticeable saddened, if only there was anyone there to notice her. 'A freak... no! Ranma's not a freak! He's the most valiant, caring person there is! If only I had known it back then. Then I could've married Ranma and in truth fulfill the honor of the schools.   
  
'That's it! All I have to do is go talk to Daddy, and tell him that I know everything now, and ask him to change the engagement. After all, it's not honorable to marry off an adopted daughter to fulfill a promise. To maintain the Tendo family honor, I must volunteer to marry Ranma instead!' In her heart, Nabiki realized that she wasn't doing this for honor. Honor had never meant much to her; honor never provided a meal on the table--Nabiki was a practical girl. An accompanying realization occurred to her. 'Could it be that I'm starting to... like Ranma!?'   
  
***   
  
A few rooms down, Soun Tendo didn't fall asleep immediately either. 'Kimiko... our adopted daughter is quickly growing up. She's almost a young lady now. Kimiko, have I been a good parent? Kimiko, I wish you were here...'   
  
Having thought his usual nightly thoughts, Soun gradually drifted off into sleep.   
// Afterthoughts on this chapter:   
  
Ok, so Nabiki's a little out of character at the beginning of the chapter. But if her burden really is as big as I portray it here, it certainly is comprehensible that she would suffer an emotional break-down some day. And, given the personalities of everyone else in the Ranma cast, it seems most likely that Ranma would be the one to console her.   
  



	3. Mystery

  
  
-+- Standard Disclaimer -+-   
  
The characters depicted in this story are not mine. Ranma 1/2 and all other related characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Story is partially based on "All You Zombies" By Robert Heinlein. I have written All You Ranmas purely for entertainment.   
  
-+- End of Disclaimer -+-   
  
All You Ranmas   
  
A fiction novella by Dave Zhang (dzhang@its.caltech.edu). Comments and criticisms welcomed. Copyright 2001.   
  
"This text is spoken." 'This text is thought.'   
  
  
  
Chapter 3: Mystery   
  
April 28, 1998, Nerima   
  
"HI-YAH!" shouted Ranma as swung a knifehand at Genma. Genma easily leapt over Ranma's attack and snickered, "Ha ha boy. You aren't concentrating very well today. That's the fifth time you've done a roundhouse-jab-knifehand combination. What did I tell you? Variation is the true path of a martial artist."   
  
Genma was quite pleased with himself. Today, he has lasted quite a bit longer than normal. This probably meant, as Genma verbally suggested, that Ranma wasn't concentrating as well today. But of course, in Genma mind, it was proof that Genma himself was getting better too, and that old age and decrepitude were still several decades too early to try to claim him.   
  
Genma's daydreaming of winning Olympic titles was interrupted by Ranma's throwing him into the koi pond. "Hah! Old man. Should learn from your own adages. Concentrate!"   
  
Ranma walked off to go take a bath before breakfast, leaving a very upset and very angry panda wading to the shores of the koi pond.   
  
Twenty minutes later, Ranma came out of the furo, smelling much nicer, and was about to run down the stairs when he saw Nabiki struggling to hobble down the stair. Without second thought, Ranma grabbed Nabiki into his arms and ran down the stairs. No sooner had he reached the bottom step and put Nabiki down did the entire dojo resonate to the din of...   
  
"RANMA!!! YOU WOMANIZING PERVERT!!!"   
  
Ranma was promptly batted into the koi pond, courtesy of Akane's interdimensional mallet. Swimming out of the pond, Ranma-chan yelled, "Whadja do that for!?" and walked upstairs to take another bath.   
  
Kasumi looked on, and said, "Oh my. Akane, Dr. Tofu told Ranma to help Nabiki around."   
  
Akane flustered, but maintained her self-righteousness. "Well, he didn't have to hold Nabiki that close!"   
  
Nabiki, for her part, was becoming more sure every moment that Akane was indeed adopted. 'How ungrateful! Akane's actually a guest too!' Nabiki briefly contemplated telling Akane there and then that she was adopted, but decided against it. 'Well, I don't like how she's abusing Ranma but I don't want her to move out either. I guess I'll tell her and Ranma privately after amassing more evidence, and then she'll willingly relinquish Ranma to me.' Circulation to her cheeks increased at that thought.   
  
***   
  
Ranma was confused. In walking Nabiki to school, Nabiki had many times tottered and almost fallen. Ranma, of course, was there to save her every time microseconds before she hit the ground. 'Funny. Nabiki was walking much better than this last night. I guess the cast is throwing her weight balance off.'   
  
Akane was fuming. 'That pervert! It's just like him to touch a pretty girl every chance he gets.' Akane glanced at Nabiki, who again was in the process of falling. Just like the ten or so times earlier, Ranma leapt to Nabiki and put his arm around Nabiki's waist to steady her.   
  
Ranma, upon noticing Akane staring at the interaction between himself and Nabiki, looked flustered, and said, "What? She's YOUR sister; I don't see you volunteering to help her get to school!"   
  
"Fine! Let me do it next time then! It's not like you're that much better than me at martial arts!"   
  
Nabiki, at the moment entranced by Akane and Ranma's conversation, tripped over a stone in the road, and fell, for the first time today, unintentionally.   
  
Akane, seeing her opportunity to prove her martial arts prowess, attempted to leap towards Nabiki in mimicry of what Ranma had done minutes earlier, only to realize barely a half a second after her feet left the ground that her agility was nowhere near Ranma's. At her current trajectory and velocity, she would barely cover a fourth of the ground to Nabiki before Nabiki hit the ground.   
  
Ranma, seeing that Akane obviously wasn't going to be able to make the save, leapt his now routine leap from on top of the fence towards Nabiki. He would have easily made it and saved Nabiki yet again, were it not for the fact that he was nailed to the ground in the middle of his trajectory by Shampoo and her bicycle.   
  
Having now been accustomed to being saved by Ranma, Nabiki was totally surprised when Ranma did not reach her on time, and did not brace herself for the imminent collision, thus being dealt a lot more pain than necessary.   
  
'Damn that Shampoo! Always acting cute but trying all sorts of underhanded schemes to get Ranma to marry her. Not that there is a chance in Hell that Ranma would pick her. Even if Akane wasn't around, there's still no chance for her! There's no way she can win against Ukyo; Ranma's feelings toward Ukyo are almost as strong as his towards Akane. Yep, Ukyo's the runner up...'   
  
Nabiki cold sweated as she realized that she was in the same position as Shampoo. 'Damn! I guess things aren't going to be as simple as I originally planned. If I just tell Akane the truth and get Daddy to change the engagement, then Ranma will probably turn to his Ucchan. Well, maybe he'll choose me at Genma's behest for the honor of the school.' Nabiki shook her head. 'No Nabiki, don't delude yourself! Ranma stays in his engagement with Akane because he wants to, not because of honor. If I tell him that Akane is adopted, the two most likely outcomes are him still accepting Akane as his 'main' fiancee, and him taking on Ukyo as his 'main' fiancee. Knowing Ranma and Akane, the first outcome will probably transpire. Ranma will valiantly declare in front of everyone that he'll marry Akane anyway, and then Akane will be so touched that she'd marry him then and there. No, that's not what you want. That's not good at all. No, Ranma must not know about this right now.   
  
'Well, it's a good thing that I'm the only one who even suspects this right now, and I'm going to keep it that way for a while. Don't need Ryoga or Kuno blurting out secrets.'   
  
Nabiki glanced at the trio of Ranma and two of his fiancees. Their heated discussion seemed to be winding down now after Ranma sustained some physical abuse. Ranma approached Nabiki, but his head was still turned, yelling at Akane, "Argh! You stupid tomboy! You're going to make us late!"   
  
Ranma broke into a run as he turned his head to face Nabiki still approaching her. Nearing Nabiki, Ranma did not stop; rather, Ranma scooped Nabiki into his arms, and leapt onto the top of the closest building.   
  
"Hey Nabiki, I'm going to take you to school. Don't squirm or complain now; you're in no condition to carry water buckets in the hall."   
  
Nabiki had no intentions of complaining. After Ranma carried her in this manner to Dr. Tofu's yesterday, Nabiki had longed to carried like that by Ranma again. She quietly placed her hand on Ranma's chest as he leapt to the next building. They travelled at top speed to school so that Nabiki won't be late, leaving a fuming Akane running after them.   
  
***   
  
School passed rather uneventfully, save for Kuno verbally attacking Ranma for "being close to fair Akane's sister," and being physically attacked by Ranma as punishment. The outcome was the expected, and Nabiki failed to make any money in terms of gambling profits, as no one would bet on Kuno even though she set odds to 100:1. In fact she lost a couple hundred yen when students scrambled to bet on Ranma before she closed betting.   
  
Sustaining financial loss had a barely discernable effect on Nabiki today. Even though she normally wore her Ice Queen mask at Furikan, Anger would seep out of the edges of the mask when financial losses were manifested. Today, Nabiki bore it with absolute uninterest, as she had other, more important, matters on her mind.   
  
By the time school let out, Nabiki had formed a tentative plan. 'After I collect enough evidence to convince Akane, I'll break the news to her gently. I'll tell her that she'll no longer have to marry Ranma. Then I'll tell her that I'll see her as a sister no matter what, and that her secret is safe with me. Talk about killing multiple birds with one stone! She'll be guilt-tripped into distancing herself from Ranma, I'll have her complete goodwill, and Ukyo and Shampoo will be none the wiser when I start getting closer to Ranma.'   
  
She was smiling happily at her plan when she arrived at the school gates, where Ranma and Akane waited for her.   
  
"Hey, Nabiki, after yesterday, me and Akane think we should walk you home every day from now on."   
  
Nabiki looked at Ranma with genuine happiness. "Thank you."   
  
Upon seeing in her peripheral vision the form of Akane drawing out her battle aura, Nabiki quickly turned to her "sibling" and said, "I'm so glad you're my sister."   
  
***   
  
May 3, 1998, Nerima, Tendo Dojo   
  
Nabiki was frustrated. It's Sunday afternoon, and Nabiki had no more proof of Akane's being adopted than she did when she first came upon the revelation on Monday night. After exhaustively searching through the records of all local orphanages of the years from 1980 to 1986, through channels both legal and illicit, Nabiki came to the conclusion that Akane never lived in an orphanage. And, as far as the information she could gather, neither Daddy nor Mother had actually ever visited an orphanage.   
  
This was quite an unexpected thorny obstacle. Well, adopting from an orphanage had seemed to be the most likely way to acquire Akane. Now Nabiki had no leads. While Akane *might* be her real first name, her last name most definitely was not Tendo before entering this family. So, the upshot is that Nabiki knew a birthday that may be a few days off, a date of adoption accurate to within a few years, a first name that might not be real, and a last name that was definitely not real. This would be a difficult case for even the most elite professional P.I.'s, not to mention an amateur like Nabiki.   
  
The abortive search for evidence wasn't Nabiki's only cause for grief. She made hardly any money this week, so enthralled was she with her quest. Add to that the fact that Shampoo and Ukyo have morally gotten past their embarrassing actions at the wedding and having started pursuing Ranma like before. Nabiki was starting to understand Akane's frequent anger outbursts, except she held everything on the inside, and was perceptive enough to blame Ranma's fiancees and not Ranma. Or so she thought; the truth was more due to favoritism rather than perspicacity.   
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by the familiar sound of Ranma breaking the surface of the koi pond. Nabiki rolled her eyes, and turned to see what the cause was of the most recent flight, as she had not heard raised voice seconds ago.   
  
"Whatcha do that for!?"   
  
"Oh, be grateful; I just saw Auntie Nodoka approaching the house."   
  
Genma who had to this time been imperturbable in his game of shogi, quickly leapt to join Ranma in the pond.   
  
"You coulda done it using a glass of water, you vi--Oh hi, Auntie!"   
  
"Hi there, Ranko-chan. Playing in the pond with Mr. Panda I see." Nodoka smiled sweetly.   
  
"Eh... Hai!"   
  
"Mr. Panda" was squirming quite painfully under Ranko's fierce underwater pinch.   
  
Nodoka turned to Soun Tendo and said, "Hello, Tendo-san. Have you heard anything from Genma lately?"   
  
"Nope!" Sound violently shook his head, "That postcard I showed you was the last of the written correspondence I ever got from Genma." Well, technically true; there's no real need to write letters to each other when living under the same roof.   
  
"Oh... that's too bad." Nodoka walked toward the kitchen. Kasumi walked out at the same time, and greeted her, "Oh hi, Mrs. Saotome. You're early. Daddy? I bumped into Mrs. Saotome at the grocery store a couple days ago and invited her to have dinner with us today."   
  
"Oh, I came by early to help with the cooking. You don't mind, do you, Kasumi?" Nodoka put her basket on the kitchen table, and started removing various vegetables and meats from the basket.   
  
"I'll help!" volunteered Ranma-chan as she was toweling herself dry.   
  
"Glad to hear it!" said Nodoka, turning around to face the living room, "Would you like to help as well, Akane?"   
  
Ranma-chan, Soun, Mr. Panda, Nabiki shook their heads in unison at Nodoka, but Akane ignored them, and beamed happily, "I would *love* to, Auntie!"   
  
***   
  
"Oh, Mr. Panda must be weeping tears of joy at receiving so much panda food today!" said an amused Nodoka. No matter how often she comes to visit the Tendo household, the actions of their household pet, Mr. Panda, never ceased to amuse her. It almost reminded her of her husband.   
  
Genma, natually, was not weeping tears of joy. Seeing the Tendos and Ramna feasting on Nodoka's wonderful home-cooking while he was relegated Akane's 'experiments' was definitely enough to put him to tears. It was times like this that made him actually consider reneging on Tendo's promise and support Ukyo's or Shampoo's claim; after all, as father-in-all, he would have to eat Ranma's wife's cooking once in a while. After all, all three girls seemed perfectly capable of financially supporting him in his old age.   
  
'Hm... either Akane's improving, or she wasn't able to find bleach today.' thought Genma after taking an experimental bite. Glancing into the living room, Genma saw mountains of food disappear into Ranma's mouth. 'That ungrateful boy! He's intentionally eating more than he can just so that I will have less!' thought Genma angrily, completely forgetting that he does the same to Ranma every morning.   
  
At that moment, he caught Ranma-chan's eye and the two locked gazes at each other for a few moments, with Ranma-chan shooting him a victorious smirk.   
  
"Huh?" said Ranma-chan, as he realized that his mother was talking to him.   
  
"Oh, it's nothing. I was just saying that your ferocious eating style reminds me of Genma..."   
** Flashback: June 10, 1978, an upscale restaurant near Nerima **   
  
Nodoka stared her date wolf down his chicken entree, and start on his fried rice. Less than four minutes after the waiter brought their food, Genma had completely cleaned off his plate, while Nodoka had not even started working on her meal, so startled was she by the quick, executioner-like efficiency of Genma when dealing with food.   
  
Genma, having finished his meal, looked to Nodoka, and saw her untouched food. "What's wrong, Nod-chan--May I call you that? Does the food not suit your taste?" said Genma as he eyed Nodoka's food. This restaurant was definitely something in terms of food quality; if only their quantity was generous...   
  
"Of course you can call me Nod-chan. Oh no, I haven't tried it yet... My, you must be really hungry."   
  
Genma, lacking any prepared smart response, said the first thing that came to mind, "Seeing you gives me appetite!"   
  
Nodoka giggled at this completely nonsensical statement.   
  
She was enjoying herself. True, this is only their first date, but she liked the man--he kept her amused. Genma was so unlike any other man she had ever met; the others bored her so.   
  
After taking a small bit of rice into her mouth, chewing it slowly, and finally swallowing it, Nodoka said, "You know what, Genma? I think this is the start of a great relationship."   
  
** End of Flashback **   
  
Nodoka softly told Ranma and the Tendos about her first date, with her eyes closed, as if reliving wonderful memories that will be savored always.   
  
Ranma and the Tendos were shocked--not by the fact that Genma had pretty much remained unchanged for some twenty years, but by the fact that someone would actually like him because of his despicable traits.   
  
Nodoka continued sadly, "It's too bad I haven't seen Genma or Ranma in so long. I miss them so!"   
  
Tears flowed from Nodoka's eyes as she sobbing quietly. She wiped away her tears, and collected herself again. "I'm sorry for ruining the happy mood for you all... it's just that... my daughter would have been your age if she survived childbirth, Ranko, and probably would have had a similar eating style."   
  
"DAUGHTER!?" The group collectively exclaimed. In the corner of her eye, Nabiki saw a certain panda try to blend into its background.   
  
"Oh my, Mrs. Saotome. I didn't realize you had a daughter."   
  
"She was Ranma's twin sister. Genma and I would have named her Ranko, just like you," said Nodoka, facing Ranma-chan. "It's too bad that she didn't have an opportunity at life like Ranma did " Nodoka was starting to cry again.   
  
"She died a few hours after conception. I wasn't even there to see her for a second time before she passed away; I had fainted from exhaustion. Genma, out of consideration for me, even tried to conceal it from me."   
  
** Flashback: September 15, 1980, Nerima Hospital **   
  
Sitting on a hospital bed, Nodoka stared at the birth certificate. In the row which said "Sex," a neatly written "female" was crossed out repeatedly, and a sloppily written "male" was written beside it.   
  
"Genma, what is this?"   
  
"Why, Nod-chan, it's Ranma's birth certificate," said Genma, who was sitting in a chair by the bed.   
  
"I know that, but why is 'female' crossed out and replaced by 'male'?"   
  
"Um... ah... the notary made a mistake, and I had him correct it."   
  
Nodoka frowned. Something wasn't right here. She could tell from Genma's fidgety mien. But why would Genma lie to her? Genma had been completely honest to her for the two years that they had been married (or so she thought). "Genma? I remember the doctor saying 'It's a girl!' right before I fainted. Is there something you're not telling me?"   
  
Genma tensed notably, and racked his brain trying to come up with a plausible extemporaneous explanation. Fate smiled on him this day.   
  
"Nod-chan, I didn't want to tell you this but... you had twins..."   
  
"Genma! That's wonderful news! I understand now, the notary must have been confused and thought you wanted to name our daughter 'Ranma.'"   
  
Nodoka, seeing that her husband was still upset, continued, "Genma honey, don't worry, my parents are wealthy. I'll just ask my father for a small loan to cover for the costs of the other baby."   
  
"No, that's not it, Nod-chan," said Genma, putting his brain to overtime in attempt to complete the explanation, "You see... uh... our daughter died shortly after she was born... I didn't want to tell you this because all it would've done is make you upset. Also, you're still weak from the childbirth ordeal, I didn't know how you would handle this news."   
  
Nodoka collapsed back into her bed in shock at this 'news.' After the 'reality' of the situation sank in, she glomped Genma with a strength that would have rivaled Shampoo's seventeen years later. She sobbed hysterically for about twenty minutes.   
  
"Where's Ranko's body?" asked Nodoka, having run out of tears, and starting to analyze the situation rationally.   
  
"Um... ah... I don't think you should see that right now."   
  
"Genma, I want to see my daughter! It's the least I can do for a daughter that I will never have an opportunity to raise."   
  
Genma sweated, but the goddess of prevarication blessed him once again, "Well, Nod-chan, it's like this: I talked to the doctor and the nurses, and everyone agreed that it would be a good idea to keep this from you at least for a while until you recover physically. So we had her cremated several hours ago, and all personnel are under strict orders to tell you that you only had one child, that being Ranma."   
  
"Oh... I understand now... Thank you Genma, for trying to protect me. I love you." Nodoka buried herself in Genma's chest again, crying out newly formed tears.   
  
***   
  
Later, the Saotomes checked out from the hospital, with Nodoka carrying "Ranma."   
  
"Sir!" said Nodoka to the obstetrician who delivered Nodoka's baby, who happened to be walking by, "Thank you for taking care of my daughter."   
  
"No problem. She's a very beautiful girl."   
  
"Yes," Nodoka said quietly, "I'll bet she was."   
  
The doctor, confused, was going to ask Nodoka what she meant when he caught Genma's glare and decided to keep quiet to preserve his own health.   
  
** End of Flashback **   
// Afterthoughts on this chapter:   
  
Ah, back to the good ol' Nabiki we know. What? Did you think Nabiki was going to all of a sudden become and stay WAFFy?   
  
Ok, can any one of you think of a better lie for Genma to tell than this? If so, I'd be happy to revise the story.   
  
Oh, BTW, I've had several sources confirm that Nodoka never found out that Ranma and Ranko are the same person in the TV series. She did in the manga, but that doesn't matter; I haven't read the manga. 


	4. Evidence

  
  
-+- Standard Disclaimer -+-   
  
The characters depicted in this story are not mine. Ranma 1/2 and all other related characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Story is partially based on "All You Zombies" By Robert Heinlein. I have written All You Ranmas purely for entertainment.   
  
-+- End of Disclaimer -+-   
  
All You Ranmas   
  
A fiction novella by Dave Zhang (dzhang@its.caltech.edu). Comments and criticisms welcomed. Copyright 2002.   
  
"This text is spoken." 'This text is thought.'   
Chapter 4: Evidence   
  
"Come now, Ranma, don't you trust your own father?" Genma was starting to become uncomfortable with the shrinking circular cordon surrounding him. "Tendo, you're my best friend. Would I lie to you?"   
  
Upon sensing doubtful looks on Ranma and Soun's visages, Genma decided to try another tact. "The truth is exactly as Nodoka said. I never brought it up because I didn't want to relive those bad memories. Ranko's been dead for more than seventeen years, bringing her up as a topic of conversation definitely won't bring her back to life."   
  
That seemed to convince Ranma and the more naive members of the Tendo household -- i.e. everyone but Nabiki. As one extremely skilled in politics and diplomacy, Nabiki didn't let her mistrust become diaphanous.   
  
'Ranma has a sister who died at birth? Maybe, but I smell something fishy here, and it's definitely not Akane's cooking...' Nabiki quickly brainstormed and outlined in her brain the simplest and thus most likely explanations. 'Okay, possibilities: 1. Ranma really did have a sister who died at birth has Genma says, but somehow Genma either directly or indirectly caused her death. 2. Ranma really was born a girl, and she feel into Nannichuan, instead of the supposed story of him being a guy and falling into Nyannichuan.' Nabiki shook her head that that idea, 'No, that can't be right. Ranma's way too dense to be a girl, and besides, hot water reverses the curse. So unless Shampoo really is a cat, and Ryoga a pig, Ramna probably was born as a guy. 3. Ranma had a sister, but Genma did not want to have a daughter, and put her up for adoption or something... Hm... that could be interesting. If Ranma's twin sister is half as hot as Ranma's female form --and if I can find her-- I could make a lot of yen selling her pictures.'   
  
Suddenly Nabiki made a mental connection, 'Wait! Ranma's and Akane's birthdays aren't that far apart. Could it be possible?' Nabiki slipped her sister a furtive glance. 'Hm... Now that I think about it, Ranma and Akane are really alike in a lot of ways. Boy, wouldn't that be ironic?'   
  
Nabiki mentally added investigating Ranma's sister to her mental list of top priority things to do.   
  
Ranma, as usual, was suspicious of his father, yet tactless enough as to try to elicit the information the only he thought he could -- through force.   
  
As Ranma ran around the yard chasing his father, Nabiki excused herself and left the house for the Nerima General Hospital.   
  
***   
  
Nabiki felt stupid... really stupid. 'Hmrph! Ranma's forwardness must be contagious or something. How unlike me to coming rushing to the hospital without doing my research in advance?' Nabiki sighed. This is going to cost a lot more than it should.   
  
"Please," Nabiki insisted, "this is urgent. My friend Ranma Saotome is dying in bed right now! Tt was a congenital blood condition, so I really need to see the doctor who delivered Ranma. Ranma didn't want me to worry over it, so Ranma didn't tell me the doctor's name, but I GOT TO KNOW. Please, there must be something I can do to help my friend." As she finished, her crocodile tears started flowing.   
  
"Well," said the lady at desk, staring at the forms Nabiki filled out, "I'm really not supposed to disclose that information, but..." 'The ten-thousand yen note that I slipped in between the forms is being an awfully good diplomat though,' Nabiki thought to herself. The lady had already started typing into the computer, and Nabiki's heart leapt with joy.   
  
"Ranma Saotome? I delivered her." Nabiki was brought out of her reverie. A man in his fifties had apparently walked into the room was Nabiki was busy convincing the lady at the counter. "Come with me and we'll talk in private." Nabiki followed the man to a nearby office, while silently damning her bad luck for having spent money pointlessly.   
  
"So," said the doctor after taking a seat and offering Nabiki a chair, "you said that Ranma's having blood problems? I'm just an obstetrician, so I don't know too much about blood disorders, but I'll try to help as much as I can."   
  
"Did Ranma have a congenital blood disorder?"   
  
"She shouldn't have. Erythroblastosis fetalis shouldn't affect the firstborn child of a couple, but just to be sure, I had ran a more-thorough blood test on her, and as I recall, she turned out to be completely healthy."   
  
Nabiki eyed the doctor carefully, "You remember the blood test results of all the children you've delivered these twenty-odd years? I must say I'm impressed."   
  
"No, that's not it!" The doctor laughed. "It's just that the circumstances of her birth were quite unusually and thus left me a deep imprint in my head..." The doctor laughed again, "and in more ways that one." He turned his head to reveal a portion of his skull which seemed rather flat compared to the rest of it. "Yep, this was due to Ranma's father."   
  
Nabiki's eyes bulged. "How did that happen?"   
  
"Well, let's just say that Ranma's father wasn't very happy that Ranma will never have any siblings. Or the fact that Ranma was given a boy's name. Heh, but that was the notary's problem."   
  
"How sad, doomed to be an only child." Nabiki couldn't imagine life without her sisters, even her adopted sister Akane. Then the full force of realization hit her. 'She had been given a boy's name.... she turned out to be completely healthy.' Nabiki thought quickly and efficiently. She tested the waters, "Heh, right, but at least Ranma's twin will always spiritually be with Ranma, right?" Nabiki thought this was the safest question to ask to cover all bases.   
  
The doctor did a double-take. "What? Ranma didn't have a twin."   
  
***   
  
Nabiki left the hospital very satisfied. For someone who started off by just wandering into a hospital, she had accrued a huge mass of useful knowledge in little more than two hours. She had managed to convince the doctor that perhaps they were talking about two different people. The doctor agreed after Nabiki disclosed that the Ranma she knew was a guy. But, in Nabiki's mind, there was no doubt that she had just talked to the doctor who delivered Genma and Nodoka's baby. Nabiki wasn't God though; she had nowhere near figured out the truth, but she did just receive a huge stack of chips to use against Genma.   
  
As soon as she got home, she made several phone calls. 'Genma,' Nabiki secretly vowed, 'I'll the truth out of you yet.'   
  
***   
  
One week later: May 9, 1998   
  
"Kasumi, don't bother cooking. I ordered sushi for the family tonight. Should be here any minute now."   
  
"Oh my, are you sure we can afford that right now?"   
  
"Don't worry about it, big sister, I got everything under control."   
  
"Well, all right then. It'd be nice to have sushi. We haven't had it in so long!"   
  
At this point, Akane walked in, and said, "Kasumi, can I help you cook?"   
  
Kasumi smiled sweetly and said, "Nabiki's ordering sushi tonight, so we're not cooking, Akane."   
  
"Oh..." said a seemingly disappointed Akane. "I'll just go practice some more katas then."   
  
"Say Akane," said Nabiki, "do you want to help us prepare the candied ginger and wasabi?"   
  
"I'd love to!" said an emphatically happy Akane.   
  
Nabiki smiled. Everything was going according to plan so far. The doorbell sounded, and Nabiki ran to get it. She paid off the delivery boy, and a few minutes later everyone was gathered at the dining room eating sushi.   
  
"Oh my, I'm suddenly feeling very tired," said Kasumi. "Yeah, me too," Nabiki yawned, "I can't seem to stay awake any..." and toppled over, asleep. Kasumi soon followed suit. Ranma, Genma, Soun, and Akane did not fade as quickly, having been trained in martial arts, but quickly sleep overtook them as well.   
  
Nabiki waited for another fifteen minutes to make sure all of them were really asleep, and then got up, and proceed to drag everyone except Genma to their respective rooms.   
  
***   
  
Genma woke up and found himself in a dark room. He started feeling the wall from where he started in attempt find the exit, but before he got halfway across, a door opposite him open, and bright light flooded in. Genma raised his arms to shield his dilated pupils, and then the light disappeared as suddenly as it appear, the door once again closed now.   
  
Genma was about to walk toward the door when his pupils became readjusted to the darkness, and he realized that a... thing... had come in when the door opened.   
  
The thing walked towards him, making distinct sounds of chains rattling. Genma's pupils by this time have become more readjusted to darkness and realized the visage of the unexpected visitor was that of a ghastly young woman. Blood streaked across her face, her clothes were tattered, and binding her hands and feet were thick chains which made ominous rattles at her every movement.   
  
"Father..." moaned the phantom in a surreal voice as she approached Genma, "Father how you have made me suffer!"   
  
Genma's teeth were setting a steady allegro tempo by now, which accompanied the andante dripping of fluids from the crotch of his pants.   
  
"What are you talking about?"   
  
"Father why did you abandon me? Father I died because of you! Father I spent the last ten years of my life being tortured in Hell!"   
  
Genma quickly got down on his knees and begged for mercy. "Please daughter! Don't take me to Hell with you! Please daughter! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Please try to understand, you can't take me just yet! Ranma needs me!"   
  
Nabiki decided to take a gamble, and roared, "But I'm Ranma!"   
  
Genma cringed and started sobbing, "Yes, yes, Ranma my bo-.. daughter, you are Ranma. Akito... who's going by Ranma right now... is your foster brother who I adopted right after I abandoned you at birth. I'm so sorry I abandoned you. I had no idea that Yamato bastard would end up getting you killed though! So..."   
  
"It's still your fault!" roared Nabiki as she flailed her chains wildly missing Genma by but inches. Inside Nabiki's brain was going haywire. 'Ranma's actually adopted? His real name is Akito? Genma's daughter is living with a guy called Yamato? First thing tomorrow I'm going to try to find her.'   
  
"Yes, yes, it's completely my fault." said Genma while attempting to strafe to the left, having been forced with his back to the wall now.   
  
If Genma had gone to the Furikan school play last year, he would have realized that this is the all from 'A Chrismas Carol.' As he did not, however, he is being scared shitless by Nabiki. Nabiki, on the other hand, was praising Kami-sama for her good luck and celebrated silently, 'Things are going just perfect! This is too easy. I'm getting so much information this way! Ranma isn't really Genma's son, so all his fiance problems are nullified! Well, all except Shampoo's and Kodachi's anyway.'   
  
Nabiki decided to press her advantage. "Why did you abandon me and then adopt Akito? Why!? I would have tried my best to be a good daughter! Why didn't you give me the chance?"   
  
"The doctor told me that I couldn't have any more children! And I really wanted a boy to carry on the name of Anything-Goes! And besides, I thought Yamato would be able to provide you with a better life than I could!"   
  
"That was irresponsible of you!" roared Nabiki as she charged towards Genma. Unfortunately, in the absence of light, Nabiki did not see that she was stepping right into the middle of the puddle formed by Genma's less-manly fluids. The wetness, combined with the chains she had to lug around which were constantly throwing her balance off, caused Nabiki to slip and fall. Genma, chose this time to demonstrate the Saotome final attack of Running Away, and bolted out the door that Nabiki came in from.   
  
"Damn!" Nabiki screamed silently. Her original plan was to leech as much information as she could out of Genma, and then hit him with with a tranquilizer when she was done, so that the next day Genma would think it was all a dream. Now Genma will know that something actually happened, and that someone knows his secret. And though Genma wasn't the brightest guy in Japan, he had enough sense to realize that Nabiki is probably the only person who knew him well enough to pull this off. That would tip her hand too much. "Damn!" screamed Nabiki loudly now.   
  
She walked out of the cabin severely depressed when she noticed Genma not many feet away, lying face-down in a prone position. On his back, Nabiki noticed a small dart. Nabiki ran over to check check Genma's pulse, and after having assured herself that Genma was still alive, she called out into the forest, "Whoever you are out there, I don't know if you intended it, but you have helped me greatly tonight. Thank you. I won't forget this." She then slugged Genma over her shoulder and proceeded slowly back to Nerima.   
  
Somewhere hidden in the bushes and trees, a person smiled, "No, you better not."   
  
***   
  
"Oh... what happened?" asked a bleary-eyed Ranma as he woke up from his unnatural sleep the next day. He turned and tried to shake Genma awake. Upon being touched by Ranma, Genma bolted upright and screamed, "Don't take me to Hell with you!" Ranma knocked his father on the head and shouted, "What on earth are you talking about!?" Genma, upon realizing his surroundings, sighed out happily, "Oh, whew, it was just a dream."   
  
"What was your dream about that got you so scared?" asked Ranma.   
  
"Eh, heh, heh, nothing, nothing particular. Just scary, that's all." said Genma.   
  
In another half an hour the rest of the household was up, and gathered around the dining room to discuss why everyone suddenly fell asleep at the dinner table yesterday.   
  
"Could it be that crazy girl Kodachi again?" asked Akane.   
  
"No, I didn't get abducted or anything; can't be her," said Ranma. Then, eying Akane suspiciously, "Say, you didn't cook anything last night did you?"   
  
"Well, I helped make the candied ginger and wasabi," replied a now very nervous Akane.   
  
"Ah..." said everyone as they parted to do their separate things, as if all had suddenly become clear.   
  
"Hey!" screamed Akane, "Weren't we going to investigate why our food was drugged?"   
  
"Feh. It's obvious. You helped out. You probably mistook rat poison for soy sauce or something. We're lucky to be all still alive."   
  
"RAN...MA..."   
  
"I mean, Oyaji's got a pretty tough stomach when he's in panda form, so he can eat your cooking without taking too many years off his expected lifespan, but the rest of us human don't!"   
  
The bird all started flying five seconds later, startled by the deafening noise of human flesh impacting roof shingles.   
  
"Ran-chan, your mouth is going to take off more years of your life than Akane's cooking is," sighed Nabiki as Ranma sailed overhead. Nabiki froze. 'Did I just call him Ran-chan?' Fortunately, Ranma was busy screaming things about violent tomboys and thus didn't make out exactly what Nabiki said.   
  
***   
  
Meanwhile, the other person in Nerima who refers to Ranma as Ran-chan was having an emotional tempest. "Damn you Ran-chan! It's been several weeks now. Even if you don't want me to be your fiancee, I'm still your best friend! How could you just stop coming here completely?"   
  
"Ukyo-san?" said Konatsu.   
  
"WHAT!?"   
  
"Er... the mail's here. They're a letter from your father."   
  
Ukyo calmed herself down a bit, and tore into the letter.   
  
"Daddy's coming!!!"   
// Afterthoughts on the chapter   
  
Anyone come up with a better plan than Nabiki?   
  
Hm... I wonder what Ukyo appeared at the end of the chapter for? Ha! You won't find out until I get done writing the next part.   
  
Sorry I haven't updated so long. Lab work is pretty busy. Boss promised to take us all to Japan if we make a successful DNA oscillator by the end of the school year, so I've been working on that. I definitely plan on finishing this series, though it will be long and take a while. --Dave 


End file.
